A woman’s woe

With deep pain hidden in her heart
Which reflects in her eyes unknown to herself
She sheds down those pearly white drops of grief…
The morning sun’s golden rays
Sweeps away the watery soreness
which she held back all night

Unable to hold back the woe of a woman

the evening sun throws it across the infinite

which comes down as droplets of rain

Regionals- a fun day to remember!

It was not the usual school mornings where my mom has to literally kick me out of the bed. I couldn’t sleep last night properly. Obviously. My teacher called me the previous day and told me that I’ll be going for the regional level social science exhibition for project explanation. I had to explain about rain water harvesting, nuclear power plants and ocean thermal energy conversion and it took me a whole day to actually by heart these names. Ask me to explain about the resource availability at causeway (which happens to be a shopping centre), or a nutritional fast food from KFC or McD’s I’d be glad to. But RWH, nuclear, thermal, conservation, energy…things were going above my head.
I left my house at 5:45 am (which happens to be my midnight in holidays) took the first bus at 6:00am (106 ki jai ho!) and reached the venue at 6:45am. I, like the stupidest person on earth reached the school before the watchman did and stood for 45 mins, jobless.
Just then a girl who looked at least a couple of years older to me came and spoke to me “excuse me didi? Are you from K.V.Colaba-3” didi? Did she just call me didi? I got pissed off and replied very rudely. “You have any idea of which class I study in? I’m just in 10th!” her answer made me shut my mouth “so what? I’m only in 9th.” Omg! Where have I landed?! In that hustling and bustling crowd I finally found sandhya, my closest buddy who is sensible (it’s the biggest compliment you get after coming to these places! Lolz…).
We both found our room number and praise lord we were put in rooms opposite each others’. People came and people went. I was speaking like this nonstop fm radio and the worst part was that people were least interested. Its so bugging when you put your efforts in mugging up stuffs you are least bothered about, give a smiling face and answer their highly frustrating questions about the project when you have ‘no’ idea of what you are speaking about. The worst part was, every time I open my lunch box to stuff something into my mouth, some or the other person would come to visit the projects. After a while I got so irritated that I started explaining things in an I-don’t-give-it-a-damn manner. That was how I was explaining to a guy who didn’t look like the judge. I infact told him that I wont be able to show him the working of the nuclear power plant, as the guy who was supposed to do that was not present at the vicinity. Later I found out that he was a journalist. I somehow explained it to his colleague who accompanied him as well.
Finally for sometime nobody came. Our teachers went to have lunch and we were alone. Off, I and sandy ran outside the room and started roaming around the school (or should we tag it factory as it was that huge). Result of roaming around in an unknown place, which is so confusing, both of us got lost and couldn’t find the way back to our respective rooms. We somehow asked the way and reached. Luckily nobody came in the meanwhile. And here comes the best part…we got to meet Mr.Tushar Gandhi, the great grandson of Mahatma Gandhi. He was so sweet and inquisitive. Finally there was somebody who bothered to listen to us! After he left, we were made to sit for two hrs for no reason. It was high time they’d let us go. Sandy and I left the school (at last!) and my teacher offered us a drop at the bus stand. The bus stand was right opposite CCD. We both treated ourselves a good cup of coffee and went back to the bus stand. We took the very next bus, got down at electric house, crossed the regal signal without giving a damn to the traffic, had a hot chocolate fudge ice cream at McD's, waited at the regal bus stop, took our all time favourite ‘106’ bus and came back home with loads of fun stuff to remember.

The decission i never cribbed about...

On my first day to my new school, I was extremely apprehensive. I had no idea of how I’d find the people and most importantly, of how they’d find me. As I entered the class the first time my first three impressions about them disappointed me the most:
a) English- it’s nothing more than the chapters in our text book. (and forget about vocabulary!)
b) Common sense- oh! What bird is that?
c) I love Imran Hashmi and Himesh Reshamiya
I could bare the first two but not the last one. Speaking against those two people would start a severe riot in the class. And when I spoke to them in english at first they started looking at me like some weird sea creature! Sad and disappointed I sat by myself in a corner of a class with a silly looking girl. Later I was told by my classmates that she has a habit of slitting her wrist when she is depressed (which happens every alternate day.) I had only one fear inside me…what if she gets too depressed and slits my wrist instead of hers??? Weird thoughts like this started brewing up inside my mind. I knew I had to find another place to sit!!!
At the end of the day, mom came to pick me up from school. She asked me how my day was. And I told her about every single thing that happened (including the riots!) I felt like I was put in a zoo, full of crazy and ill-mannered creatures, with only one difference…none of them were put in a cage. Day 2 passed, day 3 did and so did day 4. All of them seemed worse. Not even a single moment made me feel good. I had no clue that I would find I friend for life that day! When I was coming back home I saw one girl in the bus. She looked like my age. Decently dressed. And most of all she looked sensible. I was apprehensive to go and speak to her. My mom literally pushed my out of seat. I went and spoke to her.
“Tamilian?” she questioned me. “Yes. And you?” I asked. “me too.” I spoke next “Hi I am Pavithra.” she replied “Hi I am Sandhya.”

A Friend For Eternity...

Remember all the times you go to your native place for a function and meet all of your relatives? Especially those far off relatives like your mom’s sister’s husband’s brother’s son’s father-in law? They often come to you and throw really stupid and annoying questions. The most commonly faced one is “remember me? The last time I saw you, you were just a year old.” DUH! I don’t remember what I ate last night and you expect me to remember things that happened 15 years ago???
But this time when I went to my native, people asked me and my sis a different question. “Are you both twins?” they pointed at me and my sis. I had to explain them that my sis was five and a half yrs older to me. . Not one, not two but every alternate person asked us this question. After a while I got annoyed.
But just a few minutes back, I was looking at a picture of me and my sis and to my surprise I did find a few similarities in us. We have the same eyes, the same chubby cheeks, and the same face cut! I then, started counting the similarities in our characteristics. God fearing, silly, funny, people loving and so much more. It’s just that she is an introvert and I’m an extrovert.
We went to electronics’ showroom a few days ago and I realized that we had the same liking as well! Both of us liked the same digicam and disliked mom’s idea of buying a fruit juicer!
All this while when people said that we are alike I protested and said that we are different. But now I realize that we are ‘differently alike’. It’s like the waves and the shore…both are different elements of the sea but construct the beauty of the sea. And both cannot exist in each other’s absence.
I remember mocking my sis saying that I’ll be the happiest person if she’d get married and leave. But now my conscience hurts me for lying. I don’t know where I’d be without her. At this point I remember what my closest buddy sandhya said once, “You do not understand the value of the greatest asset you have until you loose it.” But I’m happy to realize the truth beforehand.
This is a very personal article. It’s a tribute I pay to my greatest asset (though the word is too small to describe you.) you have made my day, made my world, made ‘me’. I have always looked up to you not only as a sis and a guide, but also as a friend, for all eternity. I take the privilege to proclaim to the world that I love you, more than any worldly creature. I have a lot of emotions to exhibit. Love, gratitude, shame, pride, for all that you have done for me I have done merely anything.
I don’t think my sis will ever come across this article. And I wont let her know about all of this either. I’ll be the same old I-don’t-give-it-a-damn Pavithra. But somewhere beyond these words, papers and pens she knows my love for her and loves me too…

The unspoken words (part 1)- Truth...

Being a teenager, I think about the time, not too long ago, when me and my friends at school, were taught proverbs (if that’s the perfect word I may use). We were literally made to mug-up those meaningful sentences, without explaining their meaning. We were told that ‘truth always wins’ through a goat and a lion story. But those stories merely made any difference in our attitude. ‘BORING’ was the thought that brew up in our mind. It’s pretty obvious, when a fifty year old woman, who was absolutely unaware of our generation, comes to 'preach' in a literal manner, we would be least interested.
But now that I am a little more mature and look at world beyond games and cartoons, I wonder what could have been the purpose of my teachers to have ‘taught’ us about truth. What is truth anyway? Is it just the other side of false? Or something beyond that which none of us never realized.
It amuses me when a scientist tries to invent something, with the help of the existing stuffs, the world puts him on cloud 9. But has anybody ever made an attempt to discover answers to such abrupt questions? Even if one in a million takes the chance to dedicate his life to finding answers to such questions the world would give him a tag of ‘philosophical freak’.
It disgusts me in a way that we people have become so downtrodden, that schools have started teaching children about truth. It was supposed to be a quality inherited by every human being. It was a trademark for the human species. But have we become so inhuman today???
In my perception truth does not merely mean ‘not to lie’. Lying for a good cause in itself is truth. Truth does not mean taking a vague oath to ‘serve the country’, everyday in the school’s morning assembly. Refusing to take the oath knowing that we won’t follow it, in itself is truth. Truth does not mean donating money to orphanages for publicity. A silent prayer, unknown to the world, in itself is truth.
Truth, which is an indispensable part of our life, is overtaken by the false- more known as ‘the worldly reputation’. Is it so necessary for us to wear the mask of reputation and let our own identity go down? It is not possible to be true to everyone in the outside world. But the day you are true to your own consciousness, the day you are true to yourself, the day you are true to the creator, the world can be proclaimed ‘true’.
I don’t know how truth looks like, but I definitely wouldn’t want false to take over the world. While the quest for truth would continue and so would my words, I would prefer, until the, to not be false...